A lovely misery

It seemed as if i havent smiled for a long time ..

On the way home today, i thought about many things. Things which i hope that isn't the way it is now. Unpleasednt things made me dismal today. I felt useless. Just for that particular moment, i felt like a total useless. My mood was fluctuating between thoughts of useless & heartaches. Tears just wasn't themselves today. They let those heartaches inside me replay unpleasent stuffs, questions & questions filled my mind once again. Just wondering when will this end. Although i hate to see others sad, i hate to see myself sad too >:((((
Ah, that's sooo contradicting. Bleh

I still remember this poem;

Dreams deystroying my sleep, how can hurt reach so deep?
Waking up is too much effort, sleep is a luxury i can't afford.
Depression overwhelms my soul, deep darkness, a big black hole.
Sadness eats it's way through my heart, where does it end, where does it start?
No one can understand this pain,nothing to lose, nothing to gain.
Lost in a never ending maze, every moment, just a dizzy daze.
Why does it have to be me, if only the future i could see.
Afraid of shadows in the dark, will i ever make my mark?
Unseen tears flowing from my heart, i must go on, play my part.
Life has to continue for today, living my life, come what may.
So much to be thankful for,how can i ask for more?
I just wish for this to go away,for me to have a natural day.
To know that i'm not the only one, helps a lil, but it's no fun.
Even god seems, oh, so far away, Who can brighten up my day?
So tired of fighting this feeling, my mind just spinning & reeling.
I hate this pills i have to take, make me feel my life is just a fake.
What can i do, where can i go?
Stumbling around, to and fro.
Wondering when this will end, isnt there an angel he could send?
Not much more to say for now, just wondering how, how, how
Agian pulling myself together, hoping that this wont last forever.

OKAY, I SHALL NOT BROOD OVER IT. <-- TANWEILONG FORCED ME TO WRITE THIS. GRR :X
SEE YOUR NAME UP HERE NOW! LOL